ads for pads these days are all about how thin and discreet pads are and how no one will ever be tell you’re wearing them wELL HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE THE PACKAGING QUIETER BECAUSE THERE’S NO FUCKING POINT IN HAVING A THIN DISCREET PAD WHEN EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU RIPPING ONE OPEN IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM
Use the men’s room they won’t expect it
'Who the fuck is eating chips in here?'
“So, is Belle your mom now?” Emma asked as soon as he surfaced from his trip down the pool’s slide.
Bae instinctively looked to make sure the adults were out of earshot. Fortunately Belle and his papa were camped out at the picnic table sharing a pitcher of lemonade, close enough to make sure no one drowned but far enough away not to overhear anything. “I don’t know. I told Papa to ask her to marry him, but he won’t.”
I meditated this morning but i write this at least 12 hours afterward.
I’m hitting a bit of a roadblock here, at least in the writing.
Like i said in the beginning, i don’t like writing, but i think it goes little deeper than that .
I don’t like writing about myself, or at least the important bits.
I can’t really decide what’s important even, and not because all of it is.
Its difficult because i don’t think any of it really has any importance outside my own head.
I’ve been told by the most important people in my life over and over, that nothing i do is important enough to put down on paper or any other form of medium medium medium its a programing that bean when i was small and continues to this day.
27 years of being told, by the people you’re supposed to trust absolutely, that you are unimportant. Unworthy of the gifts given to your own sisters.
I’m not trying to be melodramatic but that’s what sits at the core of what i am.
the doubt that i am worth the paper or computer i type this out on.
Everything i do is about finding the validation i was never given in the beginning, and continue to be denied from beyond the grave.
“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
― Kathryn Stockett, The Help
I had trouble with my internet connection yesterday so I wasn’t able to post anything. It was frustrating. I did my usual meditation but during the last minutes I went through my chakras, from may root to my head, spinning the pinwheels and movie the stagnant energy there.
I really felt the difference afterward but even throughout the meditation I felt the every move through me and I could feel where it was blocked. I felt a major blockage in my throat chakra, which I can understand. I deal with a lot of issues concerning the truth and speaking it. I can twist words like the best lawyer and I honed that talent through a tough childhood.
It wasn’t as physically rough as some but it really skewed my ability to see and process what was going on around me, I had to discount what I was seeing, in order to survive.
It’s a blockage that hasn’t been cleared but I am working on it.
I also felt smaller blockage in my sacral and solar plexus, my sexual expression and self power chakras respectively.
I have many experiences in these areas that have caused the blocks, I understand on some level why they are their but I really am not comfortable expressing what they are specifically.
They all stem from my childhood but it was interesting that during the meditation I could feel where I was blocked and it connected with what I already know.